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Greetings and Salutations
Sunday, 11 April 2004
Things from my mind of late
Greetings and salutations everyone.

I haven't written an update in a while, mainly because I have been busy or thinking. There are a couple things I would like to discuss with everyone, or at least make everyone aware of.

The first has to deal with Tonya. I was asked on Saturday about me and Tonya having lots in common and I answered yes. It got me thinking though. Yes, Tonya and I hang out a lot, watching movies, shopping, eating, and some other fun stuff, but how much do we really have in common. We don't really listen to the same music, though I can listen to what she listens to. We like to watch different types of TV shows and movies. Our clothing sense is different; I tend to stick to just a few simple things while she would like me to expand my selection. I did buy some new clothes that I liked and she seemed to like them as well. I like to go for long walks, she would rather drive everywhere. I love going to Renaissance Festivals while she says that she has no interest in going to a place like that. Our Religious/Spiritual beliefs are also different. When I told her that I didn't celebrate Easter she seemed to be upset at me. I can't really understand why it is such a big issue, but I think it will only become a bigger issue. Another thing that seems to be a big issue is that I baby-sit for one of the teachers I work with. She is a single mother with 3 children and I have offered to baby-sit them when she needs me to. I almost feel at times that Tonya does not like me talking with this teacher, even though I have told her that the teacher is seeing someone and that she and I do not share an attraction to each other. I wish I could figure that one out. There are other times when I feel like I should know so much more. Tonya left a note on my door about going to the mall to talk to someone and that I might want to go, but when I saw her shortly afterwards she said nothing about it, so I didn't go to the mall. A couple days later she told me she was upset with me because I didn't show up. If she had wanted me there couldn't she have written please come, or told me that she wanted me there when she talked with me? Same thing with other things as well. I have never been in a relationship like that I am really feel like I have no clue what to do. It is all very confusing to me.

There is another topic that I want to talk about. I have been thinking hard on this one for a long time, and whether or not I wanted to talk about it with other people who may/may not already know. Most of you already know that my Spiritual beliefs are slightly off the normal path of the "Christian/Catholic" faiths. I have felt different inside about the way things should be. For many years now I have seemed to be moving in a different direction, and have been finding happiness in the direction I am going. The past year I have felt like I am moving farther and faster along a path that I really need to take. The last couple weeks and the last couple days in particular have made me come to realize that I can no longer deny what I feel inside, and that I need no longer hide what I am and how I feel. So I have made up my mind to come out of the closet, for lack of a better phrase. I am a Pagan. I am still not certain what that means to be Pagan, but I am sure in my heart that I am it. Yesterday I met some people and it helped me to realize that I need not hide who and what I am all the time, though there are still some places where I don't want it know that I am a Pagan simply because there isn't a lot of love towards Pagans, Wiccans and other such Spiritualities. I also haven't told my family at this time, I am not certain whether they would understand or not, nor have I told Tonya for the same reason. I will have to tell her though, and I will do it before I ask her to be my girlfriend. I want her to know exactly who she will be saying yes to. So, where do you and I go? It is up to each of you. I hold all my friends very dear and I would not like to lose any of you, but if you feel that is more then you can handle please let me know. If you want to talk with me you can either reach me by e-mail (Simkus_Voobaha@yahoo.com) or you can reach me by phone (863-603-0821). I would be more then happy to talk with each of you about any questions that you have.

That is it for now. I hope to write more sooner or later, hopefully more sooner than later.

Posted by simkus at 2:11 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, 11 April 2004 2:19 PM EDT
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Tuesday, 2 March 2004
What a mess
It has been a while, and I guess it is time for another update on my life. When I last wrote I was talking about my neighbor friend. Since that posting we have gone on a date and hung out a lot more. Things were looking good and I had the impression that this relationship might have the makings of a lasting relationship, but the last few days have seen a change. I don't know what is going on anymore. I haven't seen her for 3 days and I'm not sure if she wants to see me. It is all just a mess right now. When I last talked to her she said that she wanted some alone time. I tried talking to her on Sunday and she didn't answer her door, and later that evening she had a note on the door that she didn't want any company until at least Monday. So, I am just going to wait and see if she wants to talk and knocks on my door. I don't want to seem like I am rushing her, but of course, this could be a mistake. If it is a mistake it will not be the first one I have made when it comes to relationships, but I am not going to make it seem like I am going fast or trying to rush her into anything.

Work has been tough, well, it has always been rough but seems to be getting rougher. My car is going to need some work done on it, or I just need to get a new car. Either way it is another expense I really can't afford. I have recently begun to look at houses in hopes of buying one soon. I have looked at a couple that are two bedroom houses, which would work, but I have the future to think about. I plan on having children someday, maybe in a couple years I can adopt one or two. I'm not certain yet if I want to adopt one or two, whether I want boys, girls, both, how old the children should be, or anything else like that. I probably should start thinking about it. I want to have children while I am young enough to enjoy them. If I do this I am going to need at least three bedrooms, so I am shifting my focus towards houses with at least three bedrooms, mostly been looking at four bedroom houses. I know it is a big move, but if I am able to get a house it would allow me to save money over renting an apartment.

All in all right now my life is just a big mess. Between being sick, not knowing how this relationship is going to turn out, my car nearing death, possibly moving again this summer, looking for a summer job, work, and everything else going on right now, I am just not sure what I am doing, not that I have ever had a clue about what I am doing. In the end I am just going to continue to do what I have always done and hope that it is enough.

Well, it is 3:30 am, and though I still can't sleep I am going to go lay in bed until it is time for me to get out of bed and get ready for work. I'll write more later.

Posted by simkus at 3:27 AM EST
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Friday, 13 February 2004
Update
Ok, so I was hoping to get something on here sooner, but I was offline a couple days and have been otherwise busy, but I am here now so here comes an update on my life.

I have been busy working as a teacher now for almost 7 months. It has been going well, though there are some tough times. Overall I am very happy with the way things are going. The one area I have had the most problems with is the same area I've always had problems in, meeting people to do things with. I have meet many new people, but I haven't had much luck finding people that I could hang out with, or go do things with. That seems to be changing though.

There is a woman in my apartment building that I have been spending time with. We get together and watch movies, or get something to eat and talk. It has been very nice to have a friend around that I can just hang with. She is not looking to date anyone, and I have never looked for dates from anyone, so it is nice to not have any of that stuff hanging over our heads. We can just relax, be ourselves, and be friends. Something happened last night though that I am probably just thinking about too much. I went to her place to watch a movie "Down Periscope". It is a good movie and I have seen it before. As the movie started though I was feeling a little tired and yawned. She said to me that I was sitting on a "6-month couch"; every guy who has slept on her couch has stayed with her for 6 months or more. I just told her that I wasn't going to fall asleep on her couch, just that I was a little tired. She just said ok. Near the end of the movie I was yawning some more and she reminded me that I was on the "6-month couch". I told her I couldn't sleep sitting up very well and she told me that I could curl up on the couch to sleep if I wanted to. I said that if I was going to sleep I would probably just walk back to my apartment to sleep, it isn't very far. She told me that her bed was closer then mine was and that she often just sleeps on the couch so that she is closer to her son's room. I told her thanks for the offer but that I wasn't going to sleep at that moment. She said ok. Now, maybe nothing was meant by this, and if she had only said it the one time I probably wouldn't have given it any more thought, but she mentioned it twice within about a 90 minute span. It makes me wonder a bit now.

I think that is enough for now. Be back soon with another message.

Posted by simkus at 5:42 PM EST
Updated: Friday, 13 February 2004 5:35 PM EST
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Saturday, 31 January 2004
First Entry/Introduction
This is my first entry on my new blog. Lets start by introducing myself. I am Simkus Voobaha, better known as (or is that only known as?) Robert "Rob" Timothy Ray. I was born in Phoenix, Arizona, in February of 1976 and spend most of my first 27 years there. I moved to Lakeland, Florida, in July of 2003 to take a job as a teacher at Sleepy Hill Middle School. In between I attended Butler Elementary, Isaac Junior High, Carl Hayden High, Phoenix College, Arizona State University West (all in Phoenix), and Bradley University (in Peoria, Il). I graduated from Carl Hayden in May 1994, Phoenix College in May 1998, and Arizona State in May 2003. I am very privaleged to say that I am the first member of my family to graduate from college. While attending Bradley, I helped to start a Science Fiction Club, Psi Phi. This club is still going strong and I am proud of my part in it. I also met my best friend while at Bradley, David Henderson. Even though we are far apart he has always been there for me whenever I needed help. At this time I am single, with no immediate plans to change that arrangement. I have no children, but I think I might adopt kids in a few years. I think this is all for now. I will post more stuff later on.

Posted by simkus at 4:56 PM EST
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