What a mess
It has been a while, and I guess it is time for another update on my life. When I last wrote I was talking about my neighbor friend. Since that posting we have gone on a date and hung out a lot more. Things were looking good and I had the impression that this relationship might have the makings of a lasting relationship, but the last few days have seen a change. I don't know what is going on anymore. I haven't seen her for 3 days and I'm not sure if she wants to see me. It is all just a mess right now. When I last talked to her she said that she wanted some alone time. I tried talking to her on Sunday and she didn't answer her door, and later that evening she had a note on the door that she didn't want any company until at least Monday. So, I am just going to wait and see if she wants to talk and knocks on my door. I don't want to seem like I am rushing her, but of course, this could be a mistake. If it is a mistake it will not be the first one I have made when it comes to relationships, but I am not going to make it seem like I am going fast or trying to rush her into anything.

Work has been tough, well, it has always been rough but seems to be getting rougher. My car is going to need some work done on it, or I just need to get a new car. Either way it is another expense I really can't afford. I have recently begun to look at houses in hopes of buying one soon. I have looked at a couple that are two bedroom houses, which would work, but I have the future to think about. I plan on having children someday, maybe in a couple years I can adopt one or two. I'm not certain yet if I want to adopt one or two, whether I want boys, girls, both, how old the children should be, or anything else like that. I probably should start thinking about it. I want to have children while I am young enough to enjoy them. If I do this I am going to need at least three bedrooms, so I am shifting my focus towards houses with at least three bedrooms, mostly been looking at four bedroom houses. I know it is a big move, but if I am able to get a house it would allow me to save money over renting an apartment.

All in all right now my life is just a big mess. Between being sick, not knowing how this relationship is going to turn out, my car nearing death, possibly moving again this summer, looking for a summer job, work, and everything else going on right now, I am just not sure what I am doing, not that I have ever had a clue about what I am doing. In the end I am just going to continue to do what I have always done and hope that it is enough.

Well, it is 3:30 am, and though I still can't sleep I am going to go lay in bed until it is time for me to get out of bed and get ready for work. I'll write more later.